Some gay guy just came floating up to me on the stairs in a night club.
He asked, "Where's the gay room mate?"
I said, "It's straight up there."
He said, "Oh, it must be down stairs then."
Me and the wife are going through a rough patch and living apart for a while - we just ain't on the same wavelength, but I wanted to make an effort for her Birthday. I asked her what she would really like, and within reason, I would get her it.
She hastily said "Seriously I'd be happy if you would just get Lost."
I bought her the whole series on DVD
A man says to his wife "Do you smell that?"
his wife replies "No, I don't smell anything."
the man replies "Neither can I. Now get back in the kitchen and start cooking."
There is a 3 story apartment building. In the apartment building there are 3 families. On the 3rd floor there is a white family, on the 2nd floor there is a Mexican family and on the bottom floor there is a black family.
It's 2pm in the afternoon and a tornado hits the building, destroying it. Which family survived?
The white family. Because the parents are working and the kids are at school.
A woman was in hospital giving birth. When the baby was born, the doctor examined it for a few minutes. After, he looks at the wall and throws
the baby at it as hard as he can. The woman, watching her baby slide slowly down the wall, covered in blood, screams "Why in gods name would you do that?"
The doctor replies "I'm only kidding, it was already dead!"
© 2012, The JokeHeap